Losing the Farm

“Since we are receiving a Kingdom
that is unshakable, let us be thankful
and please God by worshipping Him
with holy fear and awe.”


Letting go is hard. But sometimes you just can’t hold on any longer.
A year ago, I lost it all: the house, the job, what was left all fit neatly
into a 10 by 20 foot storage unit. My marriage was full of problems,
but running out of love. My little baby was barely a month old,
all sense of security lay like rubble at my feet. 

The day we moved to my folks’ farm, it was a cold, lonely morning
in March. I don’t remember much about that day…in fact, my recollection
doesn’t come back until sometime mid-May. But I wasn’t about to let go.
I was lost in a dream, in a dream that had ended…and I wasn’t ready to wake up yet.

It’s been a long, hard year. We made the choice for Ben to go back to school,
which means living on stone soup. Each day, slowly I open my eyes, and slowly
I am opening my heart. To God’s grace in new beginnings. To love and forgiveness.
My little baby recently turned one, he’s taking his first steps and learning to walk.
I guess, finally, so am I.

Echoes of Mercy:

\”What Love Really Means\” by JJ Heller


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