Losing the Farm

“Since we are receiving a Kingdom
that is unshakable, let us be thankful
and please God by worshipping Him
with holy fear and awe.”

HEBREWS 12:28 NLT

Letting go is hard. But sometimes you just can’t hold on any longer.
A year ago, I lost it all: the house, the job, what was left all fit neatly
into a 10 by 20 foot storage unit. My marriage was full of problems,
but running out of love. My little baby was barely a month old,
all sense of security lay like rubble at my feet. 

The day we moved to my folks’ farm, it was a cold, lonely morning
in March. I don’t remember much about that day…in fact, my recollection
doesn’t come back until sometime mid-May. But I wasn’t about to let go.
I was lost in a dream, in a dream that had ended…and I wasn’t ready to wake up yet.

It’s been a long, hard year. We made the choice for Ben to go back to school,
which means living on stone soup. Each day, slowly I open my eyes, and slowly
I am opening my heart. To God’s grace in new beginnings. To love and forgiveness.
My little baby recently turned one, he’s taking his first steps and learning to walk.
I guess, finally, so am I.

Echoes of Mercy:

\”What Love Really Means\” by JJ Heller

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